![]() ![]() Or, as there are billions of lives, my sadness is alive alongside the recognition that billions of lives never mattered. or our American optimism the sadness lives in the recognition that a life can not matter. ![]() The sadness is not really about George W. Afterwards, after I have looked away, I never feel as if I can say, Look, look at me again so that I can see you, so that I can acknowledge that I have seen you, so that I can see you and apologize.”ĭon’t Let Me Be Lonely: An American Lyric ![]() ![]() In some small way I could have wordlessly said, I see you seeing me and I apologize for not knowing why I am alive. I could have nodded, I could have smiled without showing my teeth. Instead I feel as if I have created a reason to apologize, I feel the guilt of having ignored that thing-the encounter. In real life the looking away is the apology, despite the fact that when I look away I almost always feel guilty I do not feel as if I have apologized. Perhaps this is the form apologies take in real life. In real life, oddly enough, when I am fully awake and out and about, if I catch someone’s eye, I quickly look away. Instead of introducing myself, I apologize for not knowing why I am alive. “In my dream I apologize to everyone I meet. ![]()
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